Boris Johnson celebrates Dominic Cummings’ first year in office

BY THEIR WORKS WILL THEY BE KNOWN : The masters’ puppet, Boris Johnson, has made a video to celebrate the puppet masters first year in the office of Prime Minister.

“Whaaa whaaa where do I start?” the fading blonde, limb stringed automaton started, answering his own question.

“Shall I start with the illegal Prorogation of Parliament? A real humdinger! Can you imagine a prime minister staying in office in an earlier epoch? If he’d lied to Her Majesty? Even a PM as clever as old Cummings/lliot/Trump/Koch/Mercer/Putin!”

No. Their party would have thrown them out of office.

“Maybe I should start with that oven ready Brexit? You know the slogan! It won Dom the GE while I masterfully hid from Morgan in a fridge. Real pizazz! Class act. Almost as dazzling as when I put that reporter’s phone in my pocket.”

Also definitely right up there with the “achievements”.

“Or maybe I should be more contemporary? Ye old plague that stalks the land because I couldn’t be bothered to stop making buses from old wine crates and go to the snake council? What snake is it? Python? Mamba? Cobra! That’s it! What do they do there again? I haven’t the foggiest! Bloody talking shop with no booze. Talking about boring the pants off you. I don’t need my pants bored off. They incinerate the moment I open my mouth.”

We think stick with your achievements during the pandemic.

“I said I’d solve the social care crisis. Bloody hell. Thanks to Covid-19, we’ve made a great start. Just imagine how we’ll build on it in 2021 with Brexit!”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *