SICK SENSE : Get out of here! No one cares anymore. These two statements appear to be the premise for the decision to end the daily Covid-19 press briefings, and not the fact that the scientists just can’t take it anymore.
“It’s really very tedious,” a 10 Downing Street source commented, “we thought getting members of the public to submit questions, rather then so called journalists, would liven it up a little, but even then there weren’t enough questions about Mr Johnson’s choice of shampoos.”
How members of the public will get their daily updates as to the status of the Covid-19 pandemic in the U.K. now isn’t clear though.
“Just look at the situation in comparable industrialised countries and extrapolate it exponentially for the worse,” the source suggests, “we’ve filled our boots off the back of it, now it’s just zzzz dead people, predominantly poor, I mean we’ve got the sell off of the NHS to focus on. Fish to fry. British fish.”
It is though unclear if Mr Johnson’s boredom over the plague is shared broadly, with it seems many U.K. voters weirdly believing the PM should be both visible and accountable in times of national crisis.
“That’s the peasantry for you,” the source added, “if they wanted a visible and accountable prime minister why the hell did they elect Johnson?”
Now with Covid-19 consigned to just a fact of daily life, the public can go back to the pub and wait to see what Johnson tires of next, if even a mountain of dead can’t hold his interest.
“Brexit. That’s next. All those endless international treaty negotiations, it’s enough to put old Bojo into a coma. Bread and circuses, that’s what the country needs. And not just any circuses. World beating circuses. Wouldn’t get too hung up on the bread though. Not with leaving the single market and customs union coming up next.”