Boris Johnson forecast to win 93.6% of vote in 2024 GE

OVERWHELMING MANDATES : PRIME MINISTER Boris Johnson is already in a celebratory mood ahead of the 2024 GE, with electoral superforecasters predicting a barnstorming victory.

“He’s employed some campaign specialists from our good friends in Belarus,” a Downing Street source said, “so the result is a foregone conclusion. Why wait? Let’s celebrate. You’ve all seen the amazing work they do over there at the ballot box. We aim to learn lessons, now that we’re a free, sovereign nation, no longer limited by the tyrannical EU.”

The lessons appear to be mostly centred on the counting of votes and the best way to add them up.

“Some say that a proper mandate for a government is in the low 60’s. It gives a veneer of respectability. But the British people are one thing, why shouldn’t they vote as an overwhelming bloc? The British People are united behind Brexit. The British People are united over the need to push refugees back into France, or the sea. The British People are a homogenous bloc. That’s democracy. One voice. One people. The people will decide to support Boris.”

But the Downing Street regime’s internal critics have raised an eyebrow over the need to bring the fix in.

“We’re already doing away with judicial review. The NCA seems more focused on the clandestine threat of people waving for help in the water,” one said, “and you don’t need a bloody electoral win in the 90’s! Just look at the last GE. 43.6% of the vote and total power. Let’s stick with FPTP.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *