Boris Johnson suggests Suez Crisis can be solved by ignoring it “like I do with the problems I cause”

STILL STRONG AND STABLE AFTER ALL THESE YEARS : The Prime Minister Boris Johnson has time on his hands currently, what with the plague sorted, his home redecorated and an official opposition stuck in “Constructive” mode. This benefits the world.

“He didn’t have to waste time with that Biden/EU joint call either, for obvious reasons, so he was able to turn his impressive intellect to solving the Suez tanker crisis,” a 10 Downing Street source tells LCD Views.

“The problem with the crisis resolution so far appears to be that no one can believe that the British didn’t cause it. Which makes a nice change when it comes to drama in Suez, I can tell you.”

What the prime minister intends to suggest will come as no surprise however. And that’s not because of his track record as a problem solver.

“He doesn’t of course have problem solver on his long CV,” the source admits. “But that’s what makes him so strong in a crisis. Experience. It counts for a lot.”

And it seems while idiots run about suggesting such nonsense as widening the channel, giant magnets, salvage crews with the relevant experience and so on, they’re missing the obvious way to resolve the crisis.

“Just ignore it,” the source shrugs. “That’s Johnson’s advice. He’s created massive problems all through his career, and in his personal life, and just ignoring them has worked out massively in his favour so far.”

Just look now at the problems he’s caused with Brexit. Just ignore it. Problem solved.

“It’s just Boris being Boris.”

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