Boris Johnson to build ‘the A-nal’, a subterranean Atlantic tunnel

The Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson, has announced he is to begin building ‘the A-nal’, a submarine tunnel to be built under the Atlantic and linking 10 Downing Street directly to Trump Towers.

“The special relationship can only get closer once we have a entered a deep and lengthy tunnel penetrating right to the heart of power.” Mr Johnson asserted,

“although, never having tunnelled in this direction before, we will have to go slowly at first. But I’m sure, once we get into the swing of it down there, we’ll be full steam ahead!”

The motivation for the idea appears to be the need to deepen the special relationship between the United Kingdom and Donald Trump ahead of the free trade agreement talks with the USA.

“Such a tunnel will be a bridge,” Boris affirmed, “and I’m certain our special American friend will bend over backwards and reach around as far as he needs to so we all enjoy the moment in unison.”

Critics have cited the sheer cost of the lubricants required to make it all the way under the Atlantic and out the other side.

“You can’t both tunnel at once,” marine engineer Prof Anne U. Sol asserted, “we’ll have to take it in turns. Do we have the time required? I doubt it.”

But Boris is unashamed and determined to,

“Get down and dirty and make the A-nal a symbol of the kind of future we can expect once we’ve left the EU and set ourselves free for new experiences globally.”

Donald Trump is yet to respond to the idea, so busy buggering the United States senseless, it’s not certain he’ll have time to get involved.

“It’s a fantastic idea,” a leading evangelical supporter of the president responded,

“just the sort of act I’ve been promoting in private for years.”

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