BY HIS DEEDS WILL HE BE BLOWN : BORIS JOHNSON is seeking to capitalise today on the successful campaign to distract from the BLM campaign for racial equality.
“The furore over the statue of Winston Churchill in Westminster was a real triumph,” a Downing Street source told LCD Views, “it’s completely muddied the waters, more so even than the Bristol Harbour when Colston was thrown in.”
To profit from this Mr Johnson is said to be planning to indulge one of his long running, monumental fantasies.
“We’re going to model the Churchill statue on the Colossus of Rhodes,” the source continues, “one of the seven wonders of the ancient world. This will be a modern wonder. It’ll really put Global Britain on the map. And what’s more, it’ll show the bloody French who they’re dealing with post Brexit! No chance of them dominating the trade land bridge between Dover and Calais with Winston towering over the Channel. Raab is beside himself over it. He wants to cut the ribbon.”
But controversy has already besieged the plan, with leaked designs showing the giant statue boxed, fridges if you like, but no door for him to get out. Permanently captured by Tory propaganda.
“Look. We’ve measured it in feet and not metres. What more do people want? And with permanent hoarding no statue protestor is going to be able to deface the statue. And think of the jobs that will be created? The small family firm which has been given the construction contract is over the moon. It’s a big step up for them from building garden sheds. There’s so much to be pleased about.”
The cost of the Colossus of Dover is also cheap, compared to Brexit.
“The project will run for years, with no end in sight, and cost £350m per week. Better spent in Dover than ferried over to Brussels! Take that Junker!”