THREE WORD INNOCULATION : THE PEOPLE’S PRIME MINISTER, BORIS ‘ORRIGHT’ JOHNSON, is stepping up to front the charge across the sodden moor of Covid.
With a plethora of vaccines due in the new year concerns in 10 Downing Street are centring around how to convince enough people to take the vaccine and get back to work.
“We’re considering a range of options,” a Department of Health insider told LCD Views, “clearly we’re going to have to pay millions to Tory linked PR firms to convince people to save their granny’s life. It’s a tough nut to crack. But we’ve got the nutcrackers in hand.”
One of the key planks will of course be public information campaigns.
“That’s where Wetherspoons comes in,” the insider goes on, “we are considering a free Covid vaccine with every pint and microwave curry at one of Tim’s famous health spas. But also it will be important to have a mascot the entire nation can get behind.”
The mascot will need to be someone with a flair for entertainment and an endless love of dressing up. Ability to do anything else but distract a desperate population isn’t required.
“The PM is thus the natural selection,” the insider winks, “we’re going to dress him up as a needle and he can tour the country, alongside Professor of Bullshit Tim Martin, promoting vaccine use.”
But critics have suggested the campaign may do more harm than good.
“So? That’s what Boris does.”
There will of course be a catchy slogan to be printed on banners and badges surrounding Boris.
“The Big Prick! Is currently favourite. As it’s seen to be the most apt. But Get The Prick will perhaps be more 2021.”