POUNDSTORE TRUMP : The UK’s prime minister is under pressure today to prove there’s a lot of clear water between him and wannabe US dictator Donald Trump.
”Many have unfairly compared Johnson to Trump and even suggested they maybe related. Boris being born in New York and all. But that rumour is not under discussion today,” a 10 Downing Street aide told LCD Views. “And it is not of consequence that if you fast forward Johnson twenty years you get Trump. Probably right down to the fake tan, given what climate change will do to the U.K. Bigly.”
But what is under discussion are the following similarities.
Contempt for democratic process. Disregard of international treaties. Serial adultery. Lying as a default way of doing politics. Utilising racism for political ends. Dodgy Russian connections. Inability to empathise with the suffering his policy choices cause. Always promising a better tomorrow while making sure that can’t happen today. Mad hair as a symbol of madness. Flag shagging. Overseeing a raging pandemic, when it could have been avoided. Supporters making a lot of money in said pandemic. Loss of international standing.
“Wow! Hold on. Before you mention children. Johnson hasn’t caged them. He’s just happy to starve them. So that’s different. And one more thing that proves they aren’t the same.”
Which is?
“Boris Johnson did not attempt to close down the legislature by encouraging a mob of social media radicalised loons to invade it. He simply illegally closed it. Much classier. And to show how exceptional we Brits are he’s going to do it again, just as soon as he thinks he can get away with it.”