WHAT’S THE SOUND OF ONE DOUCHEBAG CLAPPING : THE UK’S FIERCELESS VIRUS BREEDER BORIS JOHNSON IS TO TURN HIS ATTENTION BACK TO HIS OTHER GREAT AND DISEASED PROJECT, BREXIT, SUNDAY NIGHT.
“Boris, or Al to his friends, so not you, is going to lead a clap for Brexit because it needs all the help it can get,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views, on the condition we didn’t tell you.
It seems the element of surprise will be key to make a success of the Clap for Brexit.
“Some said he should launch a campaign to give everyone the clap for Brexit, but his current squeeze didn’t seem to keen, as it would mean he would have to go out and get the clap first. And she didn’t see that in the small print when she signed the contract for the gig! Mind you, he may still do that in his spare time. Who knows! Just Boris being Boris! So funny. Why not make a serial arsehat prime minister? I mean, what could go wrong?”
The clap will be a national event and you are encouraged to go and stand on that well trodden doorstep of yours again at 8pm and clap like you’ve never clapped before.
“The hope is that Brussels will hear the clap if everyone synchronises and mashes their palms together for Brexit at 8pm, and then immediately mashes their face into the nearest brick wall. Which will be Brexit in interpretive dance. Classic.”
Clap for Brexit tomorrow night, because if you don’t, who will?