LIVE FROM CLOWNING STREET : PRIME MINISTER BORIS JOHNSON is to lead the UK in rejoicing at the passing of his world beating Brexit deal tonight.
At 8pm this evening he will emerge like a victorious Roman general, replete in toga, with his betrothed on his arm.
A specially adapted Spitfire x Harrier Jump Jet will hover over the famous address and relay the couple’s stirring rendition across the capital. It is thought that even Dylin the prop dog will join in to add a little bit of family comedic flair to the event.
“Big Ben will bong too,” a 10 Downing Street aide told LCD Views, “with Mark Francois, freshly out of hiding, hitting his head against the famous bell. The sounds of the echoes inside his head will reverberate patriotically in time with the song.”
The choosing of a Vera Lynn song to mark the UK’s triumphant passage of its entirely symbolic legal hurdle is thought to be a fitting tune, given how closely associated all those who fought in WW2 have made themselves to Brexit.
“After the rendition the Prime Minister will lead a procession to the House of Parliament and take his place in the new throne that has been installed where the Speaker’s Chair used to be.”
But the cameras will pan away and fade to black at this moment, so Mr Johnson can have a private moment to laugh at all the MPs who turned up today to provide legitimacy for a world beating act of democratic vandalism.
“Remember, Boris Johnson always promises you a lovely day tomorrow,” the aide winked, “even why he’s trashing everything you hold dear today.”