SILENCE IS GOLDEN : The people’s prime minister, Alexander de Prattle Boris Johnson, is set for a relaunch of his public persona “Boris” later this week, after aborting the launch of the relaunch that was abortively launched at the start of this week.
“He’s super excited, he can barely even focus on his arts and crafts at the moment. Even ‘In The Night Garden‘ is struggling to hold his concentration,” the Prime Minister’s aide told LCD Views.
This week’s first relaunch was timed to follow neatly on the departure of Dominic Cummings, who departed 10 Downing Street after doing all he could to destroy the future.
“Boris hasn’t even mentioned Dom this morning, he is completely unfazed whether or not Dom goes through with his threat to retrain as a ballerina or not.”
Wether or not it will be possible for Johnson to keep his mouth shut when he relaunches the relaunch at the end of the week is anyone’s guess.
“Those comments about Scotland are being badly misinterpreted,” the aide reassures, “devolution is a great movement. As soon as it goes fast into reverse it’ll be even better. The Jocks love Boris. You’ll see.”
I think we already have seen.
“And anyway that hardly matters. Boris Johnson’s job is not really prime minister. He’s the Tory Party fluffer. His real purpose is to be verbal viagra for the chaps and you can be sure as long as he’s in position they’ll stay leaning to the right and hard.”