PARIAH STATES R US : THE PRIME MINISTER OF A SMALL ROGUE STATE OFF THE COAST OF EUROPE HAS ANNOUNCED he is to take personal control of breaking international laws.
“International laws are so old hat,” a spokesman for the shit Churchill impersonator told LCD Views, “there aren’t any of them we like. Specifically though, any that limit Mr Johnson’s personal powers to do whatever the hell he likes, regardless of the consequences for peasants. Like a marriage vow, they’ve got to go.”
The surprising announcement has shocked many, both at home and abroad.
“I don’t know what all the fuss is about?” the spokesman continued, “Vote Leave broke the law and the law lost. We illegally prorogued parliament and were rewarded with a whopping majority at a GE not long after. What exactly is there to be surprised about?”
While that is a fair comment, as there is nothing to be surprised about, some are still expressing surprise that even the word of the British government is not sacrosanct.
“This is the trouble with everyone thinking we’re British nationalists, as if we give a flying shit about the country’s international reputation. We’re going to run this place like a fiefdom, and have some exceptionally relaxed laws around money. Look at all the horrors perpetrated by various regimes around the world? What do we do? We sell them the means to carry on perpetrating horrors. It’s about time we got into the act at home. And if you don’t like it? We will do more of it. Ha! MPs moaning now when they passed the EU Withdrawal Act and gave us sovereign powers. Fools. Dictator for life now. Nice.”
It’s presumed the international community will react to the UK’s decision in specific and limited ways.
An unnamed representative of the EU had this to say,
“We only sell you a third of your food, chunk of your energy, chemicals to clean your drinking water and your Viagra, but sure piss in our faces all day. Sooner or later we’re going to react in specific and limited ways. I’d say from about 1st January 2021.”
Global Britain, we do things in specific and limited ways, because the people just let us.