Boris Johnson to take personal control of Germany scrapping Brexit talks at EU summit

tAke BaCk CoNtRoL : The minor European power of Germany looks set for a swift kick up the arse today after regional bureaucrat Angela Merkel displayed a total ignorance of the power of Global Britain.

It seems Ms Merkel, in theory an experienced governor and international relations expert, has overplayed her already weak hand and struck discussion of Brexit off the to do list for a regional summit.

“Mr Johnson is going to have to take personal charge of Ms Merkel’s dereliction of duty,” one Tory MP told LCD Views, “he will summon her to his office and watch as Cummings sorts her out in his own way. You see. They’ll only be discussing Brexit at their little red tape gala.”

The move to intervene at the start of the crisis displays a flexibility in approach to government by Mr Johnson, it will surprise some, but not avid fans.

“Normally he waits until the bin fire is raging before strolling over with a half drunk cup of water to extinguish the blaze,” the MP noted, “this time he’s got a can of gasoline and he’s involved right at the get go. He had to clear a weekend break in Tuscany out of his diary for this. Impressive leadership.”

But what if Ms Merkel doesn’t see sense and bow to Mr Johnson, and the UK’s reinvigorated global might?

“Well the next move is obvious,” the MP shrugged, “David Davis will be on the blower to the German automotive sector and then Merkel will really be in for it!”

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