PAY IN ANY CURRENCY YOU LIKE : Fantastic news for patriotic consumers today with the launch of the Prime Minister Boris Johnson inaction figurine.
The toy has been specially developed in partnership with an international clique by the Tory Party 1922 Committee and goes on sale just like the U.K.
“The Boris Johnson inaction figurine mimics the man’s pandemic response. Completely inactive. Just keep winding him up. He will move eventually, but it will always be too late. It’s adorable and 100% plastic patriotism has been used in the paint job,” a member of the Evil Designs team told us.
Accessories are available. Union Flags maybe purchased separately and a full range of occupational outfits. The only one missing is the prime ministerial one.
“The Prime Minister doesn’t have to live alone either. He comes with a full range of Barbie like partners. With our special arts and crafts add on kit too you can make a range of homes for the dolls to live in. All you have to do is then construct a toy bus out of empty wine crates and he’ll hop in and visit all of them to a timetable.”
There is a note of warning though for use and operation.
“He must under no circumstances be exposed to direct light. He’s a bit like a gremlin that way. The light of scrutiny especially has to be avoided at all times. Too much of that and he won’t be able to move on as designed.”
A full range of attending minister figurines are in the planning and design stages so the inaction figurine can do nothing like the job of a prime minister with friends!
“He works best after a few bottles of claret have been poured down his fully movable mouth. Get your figurine hammered and just wait for the pre-recorded, semi-remembered classical references to flow!”
The Prime Ministerial Inaction Figurine – get yours while stocks last and you’ll be thoroughly entertained all through the next completely avoidable lockdown!