WHAT’S COOKING IN YOUR SHED : AMATEUR HOUR FOR SCIENTISTS has just got a lot more exciting today after the announcement of a £100bn prize to encourage the natural innovation of Britons.
‘The Dodo’ is a new prize established today by Downing Street which aims to put British ingenuity and smarts back “on the map”.
The first task to be set Global Britons is one of self reflection.
“Just as the British Empire is not dead, so long as we refuse to see the setting sun, so too there is no reason why Brits can’t revive a much loved, but sadly long lost, family pet.”
The pet in question is the The Dodo, a bird still popular in the imagination of all natural born English men and women, long after the last one was eaten by a natural born Englishman.
“Everyone can enter,” a 10 Downing Street source says. “Just pop along to the Dodo contest website and download the application form and a sample of Dodo DNA. Then get into your kitchen and let the alchemy takeover.”
To encourage participation the winner will not only receive a cash prize equivalent to a standard non-tender PPE contract, but they will see their newborn flightless bird become the standard bearer for Brexitannia!
“We thought about reinventing the wheel with Brexit, but in the end we just decided to break it. But by resurrecting the Dodo and shouting about it to the world everyone will know what the United Kingdom now stands for! Even if we don’t!”
Enter today! You’re just one dead bird away from being as wealthy as a Tory Party donor during a plague!