IF GOD DOESN’T WHO WILL : Rumours have been circulating for days in the make believe land of Brexitannia that some upgrades need to be made to certain national symbols to make them match fit for an Idiocracy, and those rumours are true.
While most are focused on statues and flags though, a hard working thinktank within Downing Street has come up with another mod to complete, after outsourcing their job to a consultancy for a well spent seven figure sum.
“We need to give the National Anthem a do over,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “The Queen is irrelevant anyway. Everyone can see that. We lied to her to close parliament and she didn’t kick us out of office? What does that tell you? Move over old lady! The bad boys are back!”
The actual upgrade being considered relates to the national anthem, which as many as five people in the United Kingdom actually know all the lyrics to by heart.
“God Save The Queen is clearly an anachronistic dirge in the world of 21st century klepto-fascist-neofeudalist-makebelieve-democracy,” the source explains. “We have a king. Not a queen. The song will now reflect that.”
In line with this the title of the anthem will change too.
“God Save Boris,” the source beams. “It’s three words. Three words is our magic number. Although the lyrics have more than three words. The first lines now go ‘God save our bollocks, long live our bollocks, God save Boris, Send him inebriated, happy on Bollie, long to reign over us, God save our bollocks’. The new anthem is much like the man himself. A complete load of balls.”