BREAKING : No 11 flat to be left untouched and become “Museum of Brexit” upon Johnson’s departure

MONUMENT TO FAILURE : WELCOME news today that the location of the long awaited Brexit Museum has been chosen, and it’s a prime location.

“We don’t even need to hold a referendum to decide,” a breathless No 10 Downing Street source tells LCD Views. “Apart from the fisherman’s fraud Farage who else did the heavy lifting to deliver Brexit?”

We all know the answer to that. At least in terms of front men, the shady money sources behind the scenes are still largely in the shadows. It was none other than the Prime Minister Boris Johnson himself!

“And which power couple best exemplify Brexit? Boris and Carrie. When their time in office comes up they would like it if the No 11 flat they have modestly refurbished is left untouched. That will show the elites! A real finger in their eye!”

While some would say the official residence of the Prime Minister and his handler should remain just that, it’s likely that once Mr Johnson and his wrangler depart the street the next PM maybe happy to not set foot into No. 11. Who wants to inhale all those lies? All that betrayal? Or that disastrous exceptionalism? You’d need a hazmat suit.

“Just the wallpaper alone? Crikey. You’d need those sort of dark shades used to watch nuclear bomb tests. Best to rope it off and peer in swiftly from a distance between your fingers.”

And there will be a cherry on the cake too.

“Mr Johnson is said to have arranged for a mysterious donor to pay for the Big Red Brexit Bus to be lowered on top of the flat roof by crane. It will be a lovely landmark for people visiting the post-dystopia hellscape of Brexitannia.”

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