SMOKE ME A KIPPER TIE: Brexit supporting MPs are unhappy with EU intransigence. This time it’s the refusal to regress to the 1970s with us.
If you remember the 1960s you can’t have been there, goes the cliché. Unfortunately the 1970s were so dire, that those who were there have tried desperately to forget.
LCD Views takes grim pleasure in reminding those who fought in two world wars, but can’t remember what the UK was like only 45 years ago, of the facts.
Everything was orange and brown. Everything. Wallpaper, carpets, clothes. Everything.
Lapels, ties, and trousers became so wide, that in a brisk wind you could be blown away.
Platform soles. Say no more.
Want veg, fizzy drinks, fish & chips? You had to know which day the van came round.
The three day week, strikes, and power cuts were a regular source of entertainment. It was better than the TV, which only had 3 channels and Bernard Manning was always on.
Strangely, there were not many Brexit loving MPs willing to endorse the reclamation of the title “The sick man of Europe”. They were lining up to blame the EU, however.
“We wouldn’t be in this mess if the EU had simply rolled over and given us what we wanted!” spluttered Brexity MP Stan Dalone. “But they insisted, undemocratically, to remain in the 21st century. Don’t they know that we are British, and the British know best?”
Dalone spent a good minute huffing and grumbling under his breath, before continuing.
“We didn’t have decent wine, mobile phones, or reliable cars back in the 70s, but we survived!” he blustered. “Made men of us. Brexit will put British lead back into your pencils, your pipes, your paint and your petrol!”
And off he went in his Austin Allegro, with Slade blasting out of his 8 track, and smoking Capstan Full Strength.
Five minutes later he was back. “Give us a push, mate, damn thing’s broken down again.”
But remember, this is nothing to do with Brexit…