MAKE IT LAST FOREVER : LABOUR CONFERENCE voted to pass a motion yesterday, because everyone needs one every day, and with a democratic show of hands voted for whatever it was the leadership had decided the result would be.
“It was most democratic way to go about deciding our latest positioning on Brexit,” a Labour source told LCD Views, “the will of the party is now set on Tantric Brexit. Why not have a neutral position on the most divisive political issue facing the country? Let everyone fill the vacuum you’ve become themselves. That’s leadership right there. Makes you wonder how we’d run the country.”
Maybe, just maybe because the longer Brexit drags out the worse the risk to the peace in Northern Ireland? And Revoke Article 50, investigate all the criminality and explain to the voters who support Brexit exactly how they’ve been lied to and manipulated, and what you intend to do about that, is a more responsible policy?
“No. We have the moral high ground, because we claim to be peacemakers and pacifists. A Labour Brexit will naturally be calming for society. Next?”
Maybe because Brexit is causing serious trauma to millions of people who settled in the UK legally, feeling they were welcome to become part of the UK’s family, even starting families with Brits many of them, and are now faced with a retrospective immigration law change throwing their lives into turmoil?
And they weren’t even allowed a vote in the referendum that caused this?
And they expected the major left wing party to fight for their rights against the hard right disaster capitalists, tax dodgers and fascists who drive Brexit? Not keep the door open for their potential success.
“No. We have the moral high ground. We are all about protecting people’s rights. We have to leave the Single Market in order to do that. Next?”
Maybe because holding another referendum, before anything has been done to actually prevent all the criminality, foreign interference and voter manipulation that rigged the first one isn’t a wise policy, democratically?
“No. We are the most democratic of parties. Just look at how we decided our Brexit policy yesterday. A show of hands. A call of the vote. Over ruled by the chair. A denial of a card ballot and a song in praise of Jeremy Corbyn. What could be more democratic than that? Next.”
Maybe because it’s just a bloody fantasy to expect to gain power with a neutral policy on the matter that’s tearing the UK apart, and then expect to re-negotiate Brexit in a few months? Clearly an unrealistic timeframe that just sets your supporters up for disappointment and sows seeds of further division?
“You Tory shill. I’ve seen your timeline. 99% attacking the Tories and Brexit. It’s bloody clear who you work for. Next?”
Maybe, finally, because it’s obviously a catastrophic policy if you hope to win a general election and you’ll shed votes to the left and right like nobody’s business and be in no position to kick the Tories out?
At best we’ll get a hung parliament and you’ll have to go into coalition or obscurity, at worst you’ve opened the way for a Tory majority.
“Now you’ve hit the nail on the head. Our policy is designed to give the Tories enough rope to hang themselves. This will only occur once the middle classes are eating out of bins. Then the people will rise and sweep Labour to power with revolutionary fervour.”
So that’s why it’s a tantric policy?
“Yes. Boris Johnson and chums need time to stoke the fires of revolution. They’ve made some great strides, but they aren’t there yet. We need to keep out of the way and let them break the eggs for our omelette. We’ve kept out of the way of policy making for nearly 40 years, some of us, while becoming multi-millionaires through our obscure political careers. We’re for the many, not the few. Excuse me. I have to clear my throat.”
That makes sense, if you’re led by unreformed, wannabe communist revolutionaries who formed their worldview in the 70’s.
This way you’ll get to crow triumphantly when Corbyn sees off Johnson and the Tory PM to follow him from the safety of the opposition benches. No risk of taking any responsibility.
“Yes. Tantric opposition without ever finishing. It’s a very satisfying policy.”