LCD Views is just so bloody chuffed to be chosen to announce that the three Brexit tenors have signed up to sing “The People Had A Vote” at the United Kingdom’s funeral service to be held on the 01/04/2019.
Details of the service have been kept under wraps until now, largely because there are so few of them, but tickets will shortly go on sale for the funeral at a price point set by Labour Live to make it tricky for people on benefits to attend.
Conservative party members will be receiving complimentary tickets with this winter’s winter fuel payments, dependent on their post code. This means weird, working class Tories can expect to pay up front like everyone else.
The service is to be held on Westminster Green.
We spoke to the composer of “The People Had A Vote”, British-French-German songmeister N. Far-r-rage to learn more.
“I can sing it for you if you like?” He offered.
The entire song?
“God save our gracious vote, long live our noble vote,”
Sorry to interrupt you, but have you just ripped off “God Save The Queen” and swapped vote for queen all the way through?
“If you’ll let me finish…God save the vote: Send it victorious, fascist and laborious, long to reign over us, God save the vote”
We get the idea. You can stop singing now. In fact, it would be best if you did.
“O Vote, our God, arise, scatter thine enemies”
Please. We get the gist. It’s stunning. How much are the tickets for the funeral?
“Oh, it’ll cost everyone the same. Just the UK’s service economy, hi tech industry, agriculture, fishing, car manufacturing and the NHS. That ought to cover it.”
That cheap? What about parliamentary democracy?
“That too. That’s why I’ve called it the people had a vote. Proper British parliamentary democracy is already half buried, even though it’s a bit of a zombie and keeps trying to climb out of the grave we keep trying to shove it back in.
Throw some clods of dirt on its face lads!
Get the offshore, tax exile, right wing media owners to run some front pages with traitors! Let’s make London’s sole surviving industry the legitimising of kleptocratic wealth! That’s Brexit! Let’s bury the judiciary and the flaming Lords while we’re at it too.”
So who else is going to sing at the funeral for the United Kingdom?
“The radio four choir will all be there. All the way from Robinson to Marr and back. Although Humphrys will be centre stage as one of the tenors, alongside myself and trusty old Corbs. Hundreds of MPs far too gutless to defend parliamentary sovereignty against an autocratic, but otherwise clueless, executive.”
Oh, that is a scoop, we heard Corbyn was intending to abstain from the service because he has a small town hall meeting somewhere off the M4 to attend on the day? Or he was planning a camping holiday. Something like that. Plausible deniability.
“Jezza will be there. The day we bury the United Kingdom is the day we birth Brexitlandia. He wouldn’t miss it for quids. He’s been in labour since the 1970’s for this baby. He and May have already agreed to formally adopt this baby, even while it gestates.”
Fantastic. Thank you for your time. One more question. Why hold the service on the 1st April 2019?
“Because two days is about as long as we expect it’ll take between the end of the two year article 50 notification period for Scotland, Northern Ireland, Wales and Cornwall to bugger right off and put the union of the United Kingdom in the ground. Let’s party! All the way to the tax haven of the North Sea!”