Brexiter MPs slam Remainers for not pointing out strongly enough the dangers of Brexit

IF YOU’D ONLY SAID SOMETHING : A powerful group of Conservative MPs have slammed the now defunct Remain movement for not sufficiently warning about the dangers of Brexit.

The move comes as the harm caused by the United Kingdom’s decision to leave the EU grows daily and it is feared will soon swamp the UK’s system of government.

“If only they’d taken the time to point out why jumping headfirst into an industrial sized woodchipper was a bad idea,” Cumblefookwit Sythe-Pinchmore, MP for Himself, told LCD Views. “Nothing. Zilch. All they did was go for a few weekend walks and wave flags about. I didn’t hear anything about the blindingly obvious consequences of jumping into a pool of hungry sharks holding a steak. Did you?”

What the Remain movement will make of the condemnation isn’t entirely clear, with both main English political parties still justifying Brexit as a concept.

“We should raise a special remainer tax so the people whose responsibility it was to point out that sticking your head into a live wasps nest while singing Elgar was a bad idea can pay for Brexit. I’ll be drafting a private member’s bill to this end, just as soon as I can get my hands on some crayons and butcher’s paper.”

Other Conservative MPs are being more proactive, however, with the ERG once again morphing into a new parliamentary grouping. It will continue to be focused on “research”, which hitherto doesn’t seem to have produced anything but a bit of a grift on the public purse for no intelligence.

“The BRG will be different,” an ERG/BRG spokesman reassured. “The Blame Research Group will be highly motivated to solving the looming difficulty of how to blame other people for the downsides of our political project. Especially how to blame exactly the people who said don’t do it.”

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