DUMB BOMBS : The UN has released the updated list today of what are now considered Weapons of Mass Destruction. The list is updated routinely as new technology adds to the array of horrifying firepower possessed by countries around the world.
“This is actually a break in trend,” our WMD analyst reports. “As British Exceptionalism is as old a weapon as the Brown Bess, and in the climate of modern statecraft about as useful when aimed at someone else. Happily though if you point it directly at your feet you can blow them both off.”
And there are other differences to BE in its listing on the WMD list of shame.
“Normally countries develop dangerous weapons with the idea that their enemies will see them as too risky to attack. It’s very unusual for a munition of this potential to be both developed and then dropped on oneself intentionally, and by the government of the country concerned. It’s actually incredibly impressive. The entire UK is ground zero and the shockwaves are felt around the world. Negatively as Coronavirus mutants. But most uniquely, the shockwaves being felt in Europe are also coming in the form of investment and jobs that would once have been in the UK. It’s an amazing weapon.”
But it’s not just the economy that is being blasted to pieces by BE, it’s the health of the nation too.
“Remember when those amateurs from the WHO told the world exactly how to contain the new plague? Based on what they knew at the time, and regularly updated? And the UK government had the example of China and several large, industrialised European countries on what to do, and not to do? And we just shrugged, because we’re British. This is because the UK had just re-elected the living personification of British Exceptionalism, and he was able to detonate himself in unison with the virus. And just look at the damage! Amazing. And even more amazing is the fact that no matter how much damage he does, he is allowed to re-explode each day. This is one of the most powerful dumb bombs ever to be set off. And no one seems willing to defuse it!”
British Exceptionalism, it started as a weapon of mass distraction and it ended up as a weapon of mass destruction. The people in UK politics, their overseas backers, and our compliant media must be very proud. It continues to be an exceptional effort.