FACT OR FRICTION: Great news! British travellers planning to use their nice shiny new blue passports this summer for an overseas holiday, will have the added bonus of free paperwork.
This was vigorously denied by the government fall guy of the day. “British citizens taking a well deserved break this year will not have to complete any extra forms,” said the empty cipher, surrounded by fake bookcases and Union Jacks. “They may have to sign a disclaimer, it is true, but it’s nothing out of the ordinary, we have been entirely clear about this, think about the sovereignty. Sovereignty, I say!”
The official shifty denial more or less confirmed that the opposite was true.
“We’re screwed, if you want me to be perfectly honest,” countered travel agent Benny Dorm. “Nobody is booking holidays this year anyway, and if they did, there would be visas to collect, negative covid tests to be delivered and double checked, duty declarations, ham sandwich inspections, and a hundred other considerations.”
This all ignores the official position on overseas holidays. Summarised briefly, it says,” Don’t book a holiday. Unless you really want to. Even then, don’t go, or do go if you like. It’s a free country, we aren’t going to boss you about, you’re British, you’re above all this petty intransigence. Rule Britannia!”
Nothing could be clearer. Uncertainty is the only certainty.
“I have to tell my customers that they must pay up front,” grumbled Dorm. “And no refunds. And they have to fill in reams of paperwork. And their holiday might be cancelled at short notice. And even if they do go away, on their return they will be obliged to quarantine at a cost of £1750 per person. It’s not good for business.”
With that, Dorm packed his personal effects, turned off the lights, locked the door, and left.
Welcome to Brexit Britain!