ALL TRUSSED UP AND GOOD TO GO : Liz Truss sometimes seems a lonely figure, endlessly travelling the world looking to make some friends, but the PM has made a move today to demonstrate she is not alone.
Prior to her trip to North Korea next week to open trade talks with a “likeminded, Pacific nation neighbour” Boris Johnson has had a bust of the North Korean leader made and placed on his desk.
“It was Dominic Raab’s idea,” a Downing Street source told LCD Views. “He knows how to charm pretty much anyone. That’s what he thinks. As he pays zero attention to any but himself he’s further convinced he’s very good at it.”
The placing of the despot’s bust on the PM’s desk is also seen as a warning shot across the bows of the new US administration.
“Biden doesn’t want to play ball? Well, let’s see how he likes a bust of Kim Jong-un in the background of staged photos of Johnson hard at work in Downing Street. They have to be staged, because he never is.”
Some have suggested though that the bust won’t necessarily help curry favour with the North Korean leader and will be seen as a sign of weakness on the part of the PM.
“That’s nonsense. We’re well on the way to adopting their policies on public protest and free speech. Kim Jong-un will be flattered. Birds of a feather and all that.”
If Liz Truss is successful in her mission to secure a FTA with North Korea it will also silence critics at home over the Johnson regimes loose handling of the public finances.
“Everyone is just lazily assuming we’re buying our extra nukes from the Americans. Pretty ignorant. It’s hardly likely they’ll sell Britain’s Trump additional power of mass destruction! But thanks to Kim Jong-un once having lunch with Matt Hancock back in the early 2000’s, U.K. Gov received a WhatsApp from North Korea inviting us to buy additional thermonuclear PPE on the cheap!”