YOU CAN CALL ME DAVE : BRITAIN’S GREATEST LIVING EX-PRIME MINISTER OF THE 2010’S, DAVID CAMERON, HAS GIVEN AN INSIGHT INTO HIS SECRET INNER WORLD.
Talking to the press from the steps of his Shepherd’s Hut Shed the man they call Dave answered questions that were often surprisingly personal.
“What do you do in the shed all day Dave?” one starry eyed hack asked, sat on the grass and gazing up as if attending a sermon on the mount.
“I write my memoirs and consider my legacy,” Mr Cameron replied, looking thoughtfully into the distance. “I often wonder if I could have done more in the field of political corruption when I was in office. Did I miss an opportunity? Then I’ll fire off a few Whatsapp’s with my latest thoughts.”
But it was when the questions turned to chillaxing that Mr Cameron gave one of the more touching insights.
“I like to watch television. I like quiz and game shows especially. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire is a favourite. Although I always shout BILLIONAIRE over the millionaire bit. I was a millionaire just by accident of birth.”
He laughed. The assembled courtiers, I mean, journalists laughed.
What is your favourite lifeline? A key question. The public want to know. Luckily this was asked.
“Why phone a friend of course. Although often that is more like work than pleasure for me. Most recently I’ve been phoning Rishi to try and get him to help out another friend. Some days I spend more time on the phone than I do wandering the halls of my mansion wondering what to do with myself. It’s all quite taxing.”
Quite taxing? Not something modern Conservatives worry about, as a rule.
But you have to wonder as Dave lets the light in to the dazzling, secret life of a former PM, how many friends will be phoning Dave…