David Davis puts job on the line by opening his mouth again

David Davis, Secretary of State for Perpetual Confusion (and Brexit), has put his job on the line this afternoon by opening his mouth again.

The gaffe happened after the latest round of EU/Brexit negotiatons with Barnier.

Barrier is a man not many people in the UK know much about, and you’re not going to learn much about him here, as we’re too busy gawping in bemused horror at Davis. A man who is designing the UK’s future with an hourglass that’s running out fast.

“The government [UK] will not accept any constitutional and economic risk to the country,” Mr Davis stated this afternoon.

This could cost him his job.

For the first time a government minister responsible for Brexit has decided to break ranks and describe it honestly, presumably because he’s worked out what it is at last.

It will not go down well in Downing Street.

Ms May is rumoured to have ordered anyone who works out what Brexit is to come and tell her first.

“He’s a complete idiot!” An aide to the PM told LCD Views. “May is livid. Now everyone knows what Brexit is before her.”

The only thing that might save Davis is May’s unwillingness to lose all her cabinet ministers in the space of a week.

Although if he is given the chance to “resign” over the gaffe, Davis can spend more time studying a big chart of the human body.

This will enable him to finally master the names of two vital body parts that have puzzled him for decades. Just maybe he’ll be able to tell the difference between his elbow and the other thing.

Given he has been set a test date of a little under two weeks away to prove he knows which is which, he best hit the books and hit them hard. If the course books exist of course, that’s doubtful too!

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