LAST DITCH : Prominent British performance artist and bar fly par excellence David Davis is to undergo a course of hypnotherapy.
The unusual treatment is being pursued in the hope of a cure for his long running obsessional delusion with the German automotive sector.
“We’re paying for it ourselves,” Herr BMW told LCD Views, “out of the profits of the first quarter of this year’s car sales in our home territory. I stress no British profits are being spent attempting to cure the failed Brexit Secretary. We understand British people are very sensitive about how Europeans spend their money, even when it’s for a visible gain. We understand you prefer to waste it now prolifically on preparations to ruin your entire economy.”
The treatment itself has a reasonable chance of success, with hypnotherapy long been known to work wonders for addictive disorders and cases of anxiety.
But in spite of the German automakers willingness to bear the cost, in the hope of getting some well earned peace of quiet from Mr Davis, our expert is not convinced.
“For hypnotherapy to succeed the patient has to want it to succeed,” Professor Lookin Myis ruminated, “there’s no sign that Mr Davis paid any attention to historical lessons, such as the multi-billion dollar hit the German automakers took to assist in sanctions against Russia some years ago. I don’t see any sign he wants to be cured of his delusions that Brexit will succeed merely because of the unwillingness of varied EU business sectors to suffer a short term decrease in profits while they reorientate sales to other territories.”
The professor may have a point, there’s no sign yet that David Davis, or any of the other Brexit delusion artists, are looking for a cure for their cerebral disease.