Britain’s political equivalent of Einstein anti-matter confirmed today that she and her chums have “almost finished our experiment to see what it takes to destroy as many U.K. businesses as possible.”
The reassurance came as the ruling party, voiced by the Maybot, but programmed by a dark and merciless trio of Murdoch, Rees-mogg and Foster (not Jodie, the other Foster) ruled out remaining in the definite customs union, or the indefinite, the as yet to be defined by Jeremy “unicorn whisperer” Corbyn, or any other form of customs union which may involve an unpalatable degree of sanity and economic certainty for manufacturing in the UK. As the clock ticks down to doomsday in the U.K.
”It’s vital that everyone understands the lunatics are still in control of the asylum,” the Maybot told LCD Views, “the cuckoos are still flying over the nest. The barbie is still just as short of sausages as it was yesterday and the china shop will not stop being trashed until every plate, every saucer, every bowl of economic competence in the 21st century is smashed to smithereens and on the floor. It’s how either 1% will get richer or the tricky commies will have their decades long desired revolution on the back of disaster forcing revolutionary social change.”
So that dealt with the weekend rumours of a u turn.
”There is absolutely no chance of a u turn from my government,” the driverless driver of the government confirmed, “and you know me when I make my mind up!”
Business welcomed the clarity, especially the Japanese who have placed 40% of their EU investment in the U.K. because of our membership of the EU.
To make their statements clearer we translated it, “we’re almost fed up warning you and we’re about to up stakes and go.
And no, we can’t be bribed as easily as some. We think long term. Something clearly the U.K. does not do since the overwhelming advisory mandate to trash yourself without relent.
And yes, maybe your MSM should report the flow of jobs and investment across the channel that’s already happening and will only accelerate if you stay on your current path. We will be turning it into a flood because we are sane.”
Asked to respond to the government’s determination to destroy British business the party of workers released the current statement,
”We still support the government’s determination to destroy jobs in the U.K. because jobs are the enemy of the workers.
Anything we say one day that sounds differently we are always careful to contradict the next. We are building a fudgberg. Have a taste.”
LCD Views commends the ruling parties of coalition for their clarity and trust a parliament will sooner rather than later put a stop to the travesty governance has become in this United Kingdom.