CLIFF EDGE (GESTURE) POLITICS : While most everyone is at the pub today ordering a pint of bitter and a lungful of Corona, your UK government is still hard at work making Britain grate again.
“We want the French to see with their own eyes that they’re dealing with a resurgent superpower across the ENGLISH Channel,” Tory MP for Complete Prattery, Sir Prat, told LCD Views, “which is why I fully support President Cummings’ plans to remodel the White Cliffs of Dover in the image of his favourite pet dog. Once complete this will be a testing sight for Gallic eyes. Which is in keeping with Cumming’s style of government.”
And the plans are reportedly well advanced, having been sketched out on the back of a fag packet during the night, after a magnum or two of claret.
“We’ve already given a confectionary company, a rat control firm, a stationer and a supplier of niche BDSM party products each a £108m contract to do the stonemasonry.”
But critics of the plan to up-cycle the famous White Cliffs into a ‘world beating’ monument to a political poodle, have begun ramping up their accusations over what they see as a needless waste of public money.
“The so called Do Over at Dover is just a monumental waste of taxpayers money.” See.
A pretty pointless criticism to level, it must be said, in the dawn of Global Britain. It’s what we do now, put taxpayers money into wheelbarrows and tip it over cliffs.
“And the added expense of the rmoured public vote to name the new monument? Why? Just call it Mount Pratfall and be done with it.” Quite.