LONG RUNNING GOVERNMENT IT PROJECTS : PRIME MINISTER FOR LIFE, BORIS JOHNSON, has already let it be known that genius brain box, Dominic ‘keep’ Cummings, has been given carte blanche to reform the UK’s civil service and defence. This is now bearing fruit.
Under changes being revealed today the RAF will be a pilot scheme for a re-organisation of the UK’s defence forces, in line with the gig economy business models.
“RAFer will deliver substantial savings to the public purse,” Defence Minister, Mr Know One-asear’dof, told a packed press conference in White Hall, “the savings will be passed on to married, Conservative voting couples via tax breaks. This is not about cynical electioneering in advance of the 2020 general election, to bribe moderate Conservative voters to stick with us via financial self interest. This is about modernising outdated systems for the modern age.”
But criticism of the pilot scheme has already begun with many claiming RAFer is not British enough.
“It’s the carte blanche that worries me,” Tory MP, A P Otato, told LCD Views, in a sign that even a large parliamentary majority doesn’t ensure turbulence free governance, “carte blanche sounds a bit French to me. I am a little concerned the MOD may have been infiltrated by Brussels? Surely the prime minister’s unelected advisor should have been given something more British, like free range? Like a good egg?”
What the RAF’s pilots think about the change isn’t clear. Although most will presumably already have and use Uber, so RAFer should be easy enough to navigate.
Labour’s defence spokesman is unconvinced though, but he was too busy undergoing a purity of essence test, in the hope of remaining part of the new shadow cabinet, and was unavailable for comment.
LCD Views would like to commend the government for its radical reforms, but we are just a bit worried that RAF pilots won’t be fully self-employed, as they maybe able to supply their own planes, but they can’t accept combat missions without the government app, so doesn’t that make them employees still? Isn’t there the risk that the savings to the taxpayer maybe reduced by employee related law suits down the line? We shall see.
Air defence – there’s an app for that!