Donald Trump denies knowing or ever having even met Donald Trump

THE USUAL SUSPECT : THE OUTGOING US PRESIDENT appears to have gotten himself embroiled in some minor legal problems, and as a result many of his officials are running for the hills.

And hot on the heels of those first out the gates is no less prominent individual than Donald Trunp.

It’s believed the move may have been prompted by some top drawer legal advice from the legal eagles behind the Four Seasons Total Landscaping press conference.

“No one wants to be caught dead standing next to Donald Trump when the music stops on January 20th,” our Washington correspondent reports, “and that includes Donald Trump.”

The move by Donald Trump to distance himself from Donald Trump will not come as a surprise to anyone who has loosely followed the career of Donald Trump.

“Trump is also expected to revert to an earlier form of his family surname, Drumpf, in the expectation the change will throw law enforcement officials off his scent.”

Other Trump family members are expected to follow the lead of the President, with Donald Trump’s sons likely to go further than their father and disguise themselves as pot plants, raising their IQ’s considerably in the process.

“The President will be issuing a statement later today confirming he does not know and has never met himself,” our correspondent adds, “which will actually be an incredibly honest statement.”

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