READ IT AND SHRED IT : GREAT NEWS TODAY for patriots with US flag emoji’s in their social media profiles, all over the world, with the announcement of the final plans for the Donald Trump Memorial Presidential Library.
The Presidential Library is a tradition to honour outgoing US presidents and is intended to symbolise their commitment to learning and the sanctity of accrued human knowledge.
“The Donald Trump library will be no different,” a White House insider tells LCD Views, “it will perfectly symbolise Mr Trump’s personal commitment to the classics. In this case the classics of office equipment, and of course crayons.”
The office equipment alluded to will be paper shredders.
“The paper shredder has long been a stalwart of the type of businessman, and lately president, that Mr Trump has been. So the library will have displays of the evolution of this vital device. Starting of course with a plaster mould of Mr Trump’s hands, as they were his very first shredder.”
Life size plaster mould of Donnie’s hands?
“No. Clearly that would just make them harder to find. The display will be three or four times life size.”
But it’s not just the machines, and busy little hands, that will be in the tower shaped library. Millions of actual documents from Mr Trump’s time in office will also be stored.
“In boxes, on the shelves, but not categorised. It will add to the fun for researchers visiting the institution.”
Special tables will be provided for people to tip the document piles out onto and they can then spend hours piecing it all together.
“Visitors will be encouraged to tweet out their discoveries as they go, it’s going to be just the greatest visitor experience.”
And what about the crayons? Will Mr Trump’s art feature on the walls?
“No. Sadly Donald ate all the documents he personally produced, pretty much always in the moments after he completed his mark making.”