Downing Street deny Russian sub sighted off Kent coast is there to collect Downing Street SPAD

BRITAIN’S VERY OWN KATYUSHA LAUNCHED INTO ITS FACE : DOWNING STREET ARE IN DENIAL MODE TODAY, so not much different to the manner of government of any day post 23/06/16 (and maybe before then too).

As news broke this morning that what has been (provisionally) identified as a Russian submarine surfacing BRIEFLY off DOVER, Downing Street was denying it had any knowledge of the vessel, almost as soon as it was sighted.

While Tory MPs with military backgrounds were busy fizzing over how the lapse in national security could have occurred, seemingly oblivious to the cuts they’d been part of making to the armed services for a decade, Downing Street’s spokesperson was already out of the blocks.

“We know nothing about the alleged appearance of the Russian submarine in the Thames, near to Westminster bridge in half an hour,” the spokesperson said, “it is definitely not here to collect to Dominic Cummings, his work complete.”

But while everything Downing Street says must be taken at face value, some are querying the veracity of this statement.

“The Russian Parliament, or Duma, has already published its list of recipients for The Hero of the Russian Federation medals for 2020 and there’s a certain chap from Yorkshire on it, his famous shoulder chip well weaponised. That’s if we got it right when using Google translate. So it does make one think.”

Others are turning to Mr Cummings’ own writings to find evidence of his involvement, before giving up in despair at how such a prize arsehat could have been allowed to have so much influence over the UK for so long.

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