DODGE BALL : Downing Street has taken a decisive stride to distance itself from the problems associated with Brexit by way of a neat geographical side step.
The manoeuvre is part of the long running dance of Brexit. A traditional dance to which everyone now knows the moves, the most important of which for the British government is the avoidance of that ever present dance partner, blame.
“Consequence needs to be avoided at all costs to successfully complete the dance too,” a 10 Downing Street course said. “So too scrutiny, repercussions and accountability.”
The latest step is to rename the Irish Sea.
“Clearly we haven’t consulted the Irish. We may send a lackey over to talk to them about it if they get really hot under the collar over it. Lands and titles for their political leaders in Kent ought to sort it. If the pressure is really intense at home the PM may even go personally. But that would have to be a drastic state of affairs, such as a wine stain on a sofa or some other domestic furore he needs to avoid for a few days.”
The new name for the Irish Sea will be not cause any navigational issues for shipping, not just because of the reduced volume of it since Brexit.
“The Irish Sea is now the EU Sea. Consider it a gift from a friendly and outward looking Downing Street,” the source clarifies. “And this way when everything really goes to hell in a handcart the EU will get all the blame.”