CAN’T CANCEL THIS : DOWNING STREET is under unfair and relentless pressure to explain how it managed to spend £37bn (so far) on a Track and Trace service that appears not to be fit for purpose.
“The best people aren’t cheap,” a 10 Downing Street source explained to LCD Views. “And mediocre people who have no idea how to set up and run the service? They are really, really expensive.”
It seems the questions though aren’t relenting anytime soon, especially in the face of the scale of the lives lost in the UK, and the fact that hundreds are still dying daily even as schools reopen.
“Unpatriotic people without Union Jack flags in their living rooms are trying to cancel us,” the source continues. “Well, they’re trying to cancel some of those bank transfers. But we won’t let them. We’ve made commitments to our friends in businesses unrelated to health care and we intend to stick to them.”
Downing Street has more to call on too. It’s not just it’s principled and generous nature that it can stand on and trample.
“It’s essentially a free speech issue. What does a government do but express itself in the way it cares for its people. And that expression is done with the people’s money. So it follows to try and criticise us, to try and shut us down in our expression with £37bn gone to a barely working Test and Trace, then people are trying to cancel us. We won’t have it. We’ll spend more billions for sod all just to prove it.”