Downing Street tells Manchester – “A bad deal is better than no deal”

NO PM IS BETTER THAN A BAD PM : DOWNING STREET is continuing to multi-task this week as the negotiations with Manchester continue over funding for Covid-19 restrictions, even as it shouts and stamps its little feet at Brussels.

Rumours suggest that Michel Barnier is being called in to negotiate with Andy Burnham, but he will not be available until later this week. In the interim Boris Johnson has taken “personal control” of the crisis.

“That explains why it’s a crisis,” a 10 Downing Street insider told LCD Views, “why the talks have collapsed. Mr Johnson got involved. Mind you, Dominic Cummings wanted to use an e-bomb on the city and return it to the 18th century, so the fact that negotiations continued is actually a success by the prime minister.”

It’s believed the most compelling argument the people’s prime minister will make is that “a bad deal is better than no deal”. Whether or not this will convince Andy Burnham to do a half arsed lockdown on the cheap purely to suit the pennypinching instincts of Tory politicians faced with a predominately Labour area is anyone’s guess.

“It’s really just a disaster of Andy Burnham’s making,” the source added, “if he thought to set up a shell company last week and stick £5 in it he could have secured a contract worth hundreds of millions for make believe PPE.”

But allies close to the embattled PM have suggested he should tread carefully, as “the north remembers”, just not those areas that voted Tory last December, who seem to have completely wiped the 1980’s from their collective memory. Much to their detriment and everyone else’s, whether they voted Tory or not.

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