THE DEEPEST PATRIOTISM : 10 DOWNING STREET is under pressure today to reveal the name of the minister rushed to a central London accident and emergency department early this morning following an incident with a flag.
It’s believed the individual concerned suffered internal injuries, which are not thought to be life threatening, while preparing for a round of media interviews. The injury involved a Union Jack flag and pole.
“We request the media refrain from speculation over the identity of the minister involved and respect their privacy at this time.”
Some details however have been leaked and it is believed the minister “tripped and fell onto their flag pole while holding a block of butter in the shower during vacuuming of the flag so it wasn’t dusty for interviews that will be televised. The MP concerned was engaged in the standard patriotic preparation for media that all MPs are expected to undertake so no one can mistake how deep their patriotism is.”
Injuries involving flag poles in the home are becoming so frequent that 10 Downing Street is expected to set up a special task force to advise on how best to avoid them in the future.
But internal critics of the idea have hit back at the PM’s plans.
A member of the Rectal Research Group, or RRG, said “we didn’t leave the European Union just to bring in more red tape dictating where Tory MPs can insert flag poles. If a patriotic minister wants to physically express their love of Queen and country than that is their god given, time immemorial right as an Englishman to shove their flag wherever they like. Just so long as the butter is British.”