Doctor Strangelove has spoken exclusively to LCD Views to take credit for bringing Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un together.
”I knew they were a match the moment I saw both in a split screen image,” the Doctor told LCD Views’ defence correspondent.
”They have so much in common, put them in the same room and it’s going to be like watching a ticking bomb. Wait for the magic to explode.”
The Doctor believes if he can match the pair off it could be world changing.
”The honeymoon period will be something to see. I wouldn’t be surprised if they team up with that stern Russian chap who made Donald president and all three go bareback riding in the mountains somewhere.”
So does the Doctor believe such a match up could alleviate risks of nuclear Armageddon on the Korean Peninsula?
”For a time. But slamming such reactive egoists together at velocity? Well, excuse me while I salute the potential for an explosion that will make the Doomsday device appear like a child’s toy.”
So why risk it?
”Why not? If you control the time and place of the explosion you can enjoy the fallout.”
What if they hate each other on sight?
”Oh, you are worrying about something that will never happen. Kim is playing Donald like the fiddle he is.
Donald is happy to have his strings plucked by Kim because it provides wall to wall media coverage that squeezes out news of the big fat file Mueller is building on Trump.”
So it’s all talk?
”It certainly served to drive ‘Ireland First’ well off the news agenda for the BBC. And that was a firework that should have gotten extensive coverage by the publicly funded Conservative Party broadcaster!”
Well, You’ve just raised our hopes for nothing.
”Maybe not. I move underground still if I were you and start stockpiling enough entertainment to see you through potentially a very long winter.”
Maybe we’ll just imagine them swapping hair care and diet secrets instead while comparing the size of their big red buttons.