EDUCATION MATTERS : THE TEAM THAT PRODUCED ONE OF THE COVID 19 VACCINES have announced they are already hard at work on a new research project.
It seems the international collective, based in Oxford, are not satisfied with merely vaccinating against CV-19, they aim to go one better.
“We’ve turned our attention to Gavin Williamson’s disorder,” one of the researchers told LCD Views, “he’s had nearly a year to make schools safe to teach in and has done bugger all but mouth off like the little squirt he is. It’s causing chaos and harming the life chances of millions of kids. Not to mention the stress and danger to teachers, and the broader community. Essentially he is a virus in the educational system. We aim to cure it.”
It’s believed one of the main vectors for Williamson’s is British Exceptionalism.
“He was made a minister based on how readily he toadies up to the bigger, more popular boys, and internally he’s inadequate enough to pledge loyalty to Brexit. But now he’s in office it’s produced an undeserved feeling of Exceptionalism, which is essentially the protein spike on the scrap of rudimentary RNA that is Gavin.”
It’s believed in order to stop the damage caused by Williamson it will be essential to get him to “go away and shut up”.
“We think the vaccine will probably be like a mirror. But one he has to look into. One that adheres to his stupid f*ck#ng eyeballs until he crumbles under the weight of self reflection and crawls away into a corner like the spider he keeps to impress the girls. That ought to do it.”
We would like to wish the team speed and success. British Exceptionalism is stopping our entire government realising how inadequate they are. Cute is needed fast.
And as for serial incompetent Gav? We’re sure there’s a special fireplace in Hell set aside for him.