“English schools can teach WW2 in history for the first time. Thanks to Brexit.” – Gavin Williamson

A* FOR FALLING UPWARDS : THE UK’S EDUCATION MONOLITH, GAVIN WILLIAMSON, HAS GIVEN EVERYONE AN ABRUPT LESSON TODAY IN THE HITHERTO UNSPOKEN BENEFITS OF BREXIT.

“It shows the tangible benefits of promoting loyalists to dubious political projects to cabinet positions, regardless of their verifiable quality, based purely on their allegiance to Brexit,” our Education Matters specialist says.

And education is all about Gavin.

“Remember how he was sacked for leaking secrets? Once that would have ended a political career. Not in Boris Johnson’s cabinet of all the tzars.”

And Gavin is showing the wisdom of resurrection as England begins its bold and visionary future freed of the constraints of having friends in Europe.

“For the first time English schools can now teach students about WW2,” Mr Williamson told the gathered press. “This is a little understood historical period in England. With my new directives I am to further that.”

But before critics suggest there is more to history than a global conflict in which the powers of fascism were defeated by an international coalition, Gavin has a ready retort.

“I’m not going to start speculating on what maybe achieved, potentially, by the incoming US Biden/Harris administration.”

But it won’t only be WW2 in the curriculum.

“There will be WW1 too. And the Queen and how to make Union Jack bunting.”

But what about those who suggest that potentially, the way in which the flagshaggers obsess about WW2, misrepresent many of the aspects and exclude historical debate aimed at better understanding import passages of our history, risks missing the lessons of the conflicts.

“That’s too long a sentence,” Mr Williamson replied, before adding, “I’ve got a spider. It’s how I got promoted.”

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