A leading environmentalist has tabled another exciting amendment to outlaw all banana straightening machines in the now famous EU Premature Withdrawal Bill.
“Michael Gove has dedicated his life to living within the environment,” key aide, Ms Footnmouth told LCD, “and what better way to show how much you love polar bears than by ridding the UK of all machines used to straighten bananas?”
It has been noted that Michael Gove has recently converted in an evangelical way to the cause of the environment.
“It’s got nothing to do with the urgent necessity to detoxify himself and the Conservative Party. Please don’t mention fox hunting, fracking, that silly animals think thing or the tax incentives stripped away from renewables. Michael is really serious about saving a polar bear. Mostly because they live really far away and other people seem to care about them. He’s not sure why. Something to do with a risk to the ice supply for gin and tonics?”
The amendment will be voted on before the less important amendment seven tomorrow, which is something a bit yawn inducing about parliament having a meaningful vote on the final Brexit deal negotiated with the economic superpower currently deciding whether or not the United Kingdom will keep its automotive and financial services industries in any meaningful form beyond 2019.
“I’ll tell you what’s meaningful,” the aide added, “holding a banana that you can pretend is a telephone when you’re two years old.
What’s parliamentary sovereignty asserting itself by demanding the representatives of the people decide their fate compared to that?”
Bananas. That’s what.