SOWING AND WEEPING : Great news for hungry patriots with the announcement that hundreds of Romanians have begged to work in English fields this year.
“The 450 eager chaps from the East of the continent will more than make up for the estimated 40,000 – 70,000 missing British workers,” Mr Dissin Formation, newly created Minister for Desperation, told LCD Views, “swarthy chaps who work like the devil. This leaves the Brexit supporting patriots free to manage their hate and ignorance online. And most importantly, with clean finger nails.”
But not everyone is pleased that it won’t be British knees bending in toil across the parched, plague ridden lands of the world’s second best Idiocracy.
“Why aren’t all the people with pro-Brexit social media accounts not pushing for the young and unemployed to do the work? Where is the people’s army? What has BeCoMe oF bLiGhTy?!!” Mr G. AmMoN fumed on Facebook.
And it must be said that he was right to question the lack of nationalist fervour to do backbreaking work day in and out for long hours and low pay across the green, and once pleasant land.
“We will be launching an inquiry into why millions of pro-Brexit social media bot accounts failed to rally when the trumpet sounded. No expense will be spared! Root and branch reform is needed most likely. An end to education in state schools and a return to the proper pastoral life for those who choose to be born poor, maybe the only way to stop foreigners ensuring we eat the food we grow ourselves?”
We will save you the time and energy of you like. It’s because most of the pro-Brexit presence online is bot accounts. The people voted to Brexit? Only just. In a criminally corruption opinion poll that looks even dafter with rotting crops in a time of global crisis. Empire 2.0.