EU react to U.K. decision to build lorry park in Kent by installing giant box of popcorn in Calais

OUR THICKEST HOUR : Fresh cries of bullying laid at the door of the undemocratic, tyrannical, bureaucratic, red tape producing super state across the ENGLISH Channel today – by Brexiters, as the EU announced its reaction to the Kent lorry super park.

“This just shows how unwilling they are to renegotiate the renegotiated Withdrawal Agreement,” an ERG spokesman told LCD Views, in between bashes of his forehead into a wall. “Get me an ice pack will you. I’ve got a headache coming on. I’ve no idea why.”

And the ERG wasn’t alone.

Well known hand artist and Kent MP, Mr Green, was also riled up by the lorry park decision.

“They can’t install the world’s largest box of popcorn at Calais. It’s undemocratic. I didn’t switch from supporting remain to backing Brexit purely in the hope of preserving my career. I’m far from alone in that.”

But in spite of the protests from the departing member state, the EU seems intent on the installation.

“We aim to have the lasting monument to British exceptionalism completed by the end of the summer,” an engineer working at the site confirmed.

“The box will be self-replenishing with fresh popcorn. A fleet of drones will ferry servings out to all who come to watch events across the Chanel Anglaise. And we are paying for it from funds that used to go to the regions of the UK. It’s a win-win.”

Asked what they expected to see across the Channel, the engineer grinned.

“Truckers dogging in Kent. For one. And by the way, there will be a special stand erected for the Scottish, when they get here. Also the Welsh and Northern Irish. The Cornish too, if they like. You English, you are a funny bunch. Grab some popcorn, if you can get any next year, and enjoy your liberté!”

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