EU Withdrawal Agreement torn up as it doesn’t say “Two World Wars and One World Cup” in title

UKIP MPS RULZ : MPS OF THE (FORMERLY) CONSERVATIVE AND UNIONIST PARTY have called for the Brexit Withdrawal Agreement, negotiated with the EU last year, to be torn up. It is missing a vital ingredient.

“Where Global Britain,” a ham faced pork knuckle, somehow elected to the Mother of Parliaments, told LCD Views, “and wee one the war. Any international treatie negotiated from here on must contain a reference to past conflicts inn it’s title.”

The demand is not surprising, as shifting goal posts mid game is the MO of Brexiters.

“They have to acknowledge our status as sovereign equals,” another MP told LCD Views, while bashing his head into a jar of pickles. “The whole point of leaving the EU was to take back control and hand it from Brussels to Moscow, Washington, Beijing. Actually a very internationalist spread of capital cities. Global Britain – now everyone’s whipping boy. Some of us will get very rich.”

Whether or not the EU will agree to reopen a legally binding, international agreement, that Mr Johnson and his chums presented as a resounding success, this isn’t clear.

“They may give the UK a math lesson. Which is greater? 1 or 27?” a quiet voice at the back said.

“Once they see we hold all the cards they’ll cave to the demands of the German automotive sector and give us what we want,” someone else said, presumably David Davis, en route to be upcycled as a plank of chipboard.

But what is this missing ingredient?

“The agreement essentially just has to be retitled and any legally binding obligations on the UK government removed, because we are pretty useless at sticking to them.”

Retitled to what?

“Two World Wars and One World Cup, of course. We’re Global Britain. Get over it.”

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