Famous author of fiction under suspicion of violations animal welfare act 2006

LCD Views can report today that a world famous author of fiction is under suspicion for violations of the animal welfare act 2006.

Under the act it is an offence to cause unnecessary suffering to animals.

It’s believed the author, Mr Davis, has locked one thousand chimpanzees in a basement with one thousand typewriters and ordered them to write a work of fiction he accepted a commission of but is yet to write, even though the date for submission has passed.

“The advance he has been paid is eye watering,” LCD’s Political Fiction specialist advises, “millions and millions of pounds and there’s nothing to show for it. The publishing house has staked its reputation, indeed its future, on the publication of ‘The Brexit Impact Assessments’. He has to come up with the goods or they’re stuffed.”

It’s not clear what the plot of the story is, but the premise is believed to be a moral tale of what happens when you let a bunch of useless idiots, acting as fronts for disaster capitalists, run your country.

“I guess we should be a little sympathetic. He took the job on thinking he could just steal other people’s ideas and adapt them and present than as his own, something he is rumoured to have done in the past, then bluster and bully his way around the media circuit until everyone gets fed up and buys a copy of his book to make him go away.”

But it seems he wasn’t able to do that this time, even if, and it’s just if, he has built his career that way so far.

“He’s going to end up in the dock. We all know under the 2006 act you can cause necessary suffering to an animal, but locking them in a room and saying they can’t come out until they’ve written a horror story like ‘Brexit Impact Assessments’, all fifty eight chapters?

No human could do survive that, let alone a monkey with a typewriter.”

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