ALEXANDER DE PEFEFFEL BORIS JOHNSON : Bad times in the No 11 Downing Street flat this morning as reports of “two blows landing one after another” leak from the creaky ship of state.
The left hook appears to be the Prime Minister’s “deep shock” at the “out of character” behaviour of his Home Secretary Priti Patel.
“Ms Patel has a reputation for removing people from the country with a ruthless efficiency completely devoid of human feeling,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views.
“That’s why she is in her job.”
We realise that.
“Remember the footage of Boris Johnson refusing to shake hands with those two black delegates at Tory Conference?”
Yes. Here’s the link.
“Remember all his colourful language in columns over years? Remember how he plays to the basest instincts of the electorate? THAT’S WHY PATEL IS HOME SECRETARY. An individual so devoid of human feeling, so cleansed of empathy she is perfect to keep the dirty deeds at arm’s length. Her failure yesterday has rocked the PM. Now he has to fight Scotland full on. You remember the Glasgow Airport terrorist incident? Boris Johnson is a bully. Bullies run from serious danger. He does not want to have to take Glasgow on. God damn you Priti! Damn you to hell!”
What was the second blow?
“Oh, the right hook was Carrie deciding she wants to change the wallpaper. Again. Maybe difficult to find a donor to pay for it.”