NEUROLOGICAL MATTERS : FEARS OF A RIFT TODAY BETWEEN THE MEDICAL COMMUNITIES OF THE UNITED KINGDOM AND GRATE BRITAIN’S UNGRATEFUL COLONY ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
The furore appears to centre on a spat between medical researchers over which country is responsible for a brain eating amoeba currently forcing citizens in Florida to protest against wearing masks in the middle of the Covid-19 panic.
“It’s just like the Spanish Flu,” a representative of the UK’s medical research fraternity said, “it started in America and they pinned it on the Spanish. Well, we’re not letting them pull a fast one with the brain eating amoeba!”
The most obvious stateside example is of course President Donald Trump.
“That’s the amoeba’s greatest success at the moment,” the researcher continued, “to get itself elected the actual President of the United States? That’s a real WTF moment there. Actually it’s the biggliest achievement of any single celled organism except for the Conservatives, I mean the Coronaviruses. Not many people know this, but no single celled creature has ever achieved anything greater. And now look at the UK political landscape? Absolutely riddled with amoeba. The prime minister being the most obvious example, but it’s everywhere.”
But the Americans aren’t taking that lying down.
“Nigel Farage, the UK’s own Amoeba in Chief, famously visited Donald Trump after the Brexit victory in that rigged opinion poll. He carried it over here. Contrary to the claims of the British scientists the amoeba infects people and makes them do insane things. And you don’t have to look anywhere else than the reopening of English pubs in the middle of the Covid-19 pandemic to see that the UK government is completely riddled with it. I’d be surprised if there’s a single brain cell left uninfected.”
LCD Views is rightly famous in the field of medical research, especially amoeba, and we can draw a line under this debate right now by stating it’s bloody obvious both countries are currently riddled with it in government, and it doesn’t matter where it started, it matters that it’s ended.
And we do not welcome our new brain eating amoeba overlords at all.