WHAT’S GOT INTO EU : 10 Downing Street is in lockdown mode today and not because serial screw-up Boris Johnson has been caught screwing around.
The reason for the tense and barricaded state is rumoured to be the receipt of an audio file of Joe Biden talking in private about Boris Johnson and Brexit, with Von Der Leyen and others.
“Someone says U.K. trade deal, we’re not sure who, they sounded French. Biden says pork products and chuckles. Then another voice, American we think, or perhaps a European who learnt English at an American school, says Global Britain and cheese. More laughter, louder this time. Next someone throws in ‘We’re gonna build a wall and Brussels is gonna pay for it’ and they’re off. The rest of the file is just people laughing and the file is an hour long. The only time they stop laughing is when Boris Johnson actually attempts to phone up. Biden says it’s the tenth time that day and they all sit in silence and listen to the phone, until it stops ringing.”
How Downing Street will respond isn’t yet clear, although ERG douche Andrew Bridgen has suggested he will hold his breath until he faints, as they’ll be so sorry then.
“Johnson is said to have set up a special unit to work up jokes about Biden and Barnier, but the problem appears to be that the jokes are all on Britain these days.”
We’re sure it will soon blow over, like Johnson’s combover. After all, just like the EU, the USA needs us more than we need them.