AMENDMENT 25 CALLING : THE SCOURGE OF MODERNITY, the global anti-vaccine movement, has received a most welcome boost to its numbers today thanks to some surprising assistance from batshit crazy US President, Donne Drumpf.
The help has come in the form of a tweet in which Donald Trump asserted that his blood is the vaccine.
“We’re not quite sure what his blood is the vaccine for,” a resident GP comments, “it clearly isn’t the vaccine against mocking disabled reporters, fake news, serial sex pest activities, serial adultery, locking kids in cages, misogyny, racism, disrespecting the dead, gluttony, addiction to fake tanning, wig wearing or sociopathy. I can only guess he is talking about the novel cold virus that’s taken the world by storm?”
But whatever disease Mr Trump is referring to the impact of his tweet has been instant, thanks to the wonders of social media.
“I’m not sure how we’ll recover from this tweet,” our GP continues, “already at my surgery we have seen dozens of parents cancel routine vaccinations out of fear of infecting their children with Trumpism. Which is understandable. Trumpism is very similar to the kind of mutant virus that creates zombie apocalypses. If any population achieves 60%, or over, infection rates than it is all over rover.”
What the authorities more generally can do to discourage the sudden ballooning in support for anti-vaxxers is not clear, as most are still dealing with yesterday’s news cycle and won’t have caught up to today until tomorrow.
“I would encourage people to continue to get vaccines,” our GP finishes, “they are one of the greatest technological advances in the history of humanity, have freed billions from the terror of infant mortality, and only the historically ignorant refuse them. And if Donald Trump’s blood really is the vaccine, then it’s been nice knowing you all.”