Theresa May, the ambitious member for Maidenhead, has gained her reward for her unwavering determination and loyalty. A stronger or more stable figure could hardly be imagined. Her promotion will strengthen one of the strongest cabinets of modern times.
The Prime Minister of Brexitland, Rupert Murdoch, has needed to recruit new blood since the unfortunate departure of several stalwart figures. Michael Fallon felt the knee – sorry, felt the need – to leave his role after sharing Trump jokes with Julia Fart-Brewer. Priti Patel had to go after she was discovered talking to foreigners, which is to be outlawed under Brexit regulations. And poor Damian Green took matters into his own hands.
Some of the many aces in Murdoch’s pack have remained unshuffled. Boris Johnson remains Minister of Balderdash, and Jeremy C. Hunt is to continue as Health Secretary. Sources suggest that Hunt was in line for a major promotion, but he begged to be allowed to continue his excellent work with the NHS. Hunt has graciously accepted extra responsibilities after proving to be such a safe pair of hands.
There are a few new entries, populist pickers. For example, Brandon Lewis becomes Minister for Interchangeable Names. James Cleverly’s name speaks for itself. Indeed, he tweeted “I’m not just Cleverly, I’m a stable geniusly!”
And so to May. She has shown enormous flexibility in reconciling her pro-European instincts to the hard Brexit demanded by the Great British Public. She was considered for a position in the Department for Transport, but as she herself noted, “I don’t even know how to make a U-turn in government!”
Her wit, vigour and melodious voice will be valuable assets as she joins the Department for Exiting the European Union. David Davis tweeted “Delighted to have such a skilled negotiator on the team! Welcome Theresa!”, although reportedly he struggled to spell ‘negotiator’ and ‘Theresa’ without assistance.
There are now 13 Conservative vice chairmen. That’s a lot of vice to oversee.